DARTMOUTH
1967
The Band first looks to the South and remembers that "when time is dear, Trenton is near."
Forming a one-night stand, the Band asks Princeton Charlie why, with the car rule enabling him to get farther, he prefers Trenton girls, and he replies...
The Band turns its attention to a nearby choir college, and reminds
Princeton Charlie of the school's motto, "Yours for a Song."
Forming a pliable social alternative, we suggest to Princeton Charlie
that...
But if all else fails, Princeton Charlie may pass the time during the
winter with a good book, such as
Fanny Hill, a classic piece of art.
Forming a hill on the field, we are reminded of the encouraging
philosophy contained in the body of that work, for whenever our
heroine was down, she was always looking up.
The only place where the winter social scene is worse than Princeton
is Dartmouth.
Forming a mail slot, we note that when Danny Dartmouth does get a
date, none of his roomates do.
Thus, when he is at last alone in his room with his date, he suddenly
hears from the mail slot...
BROWN
1967
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band surveys the contemporary political scene.
We look first at former Presidential hopeful George Romney, and his recent charge that he was brain-washed on his trip to South Vietnam. Forming a foot-in-a-mouth, the Band wonders if perhaps Mr. Romeny's accusation suggests a new weapon in his politcal warfare.
(Band forms a blob)
We turn our attention to California's refugee from Hollywood,
Mrs. Shirley Temple Black, and we see Mrs. Black skipping
hand-in-hand down Pennsylvania Avenue with Governor Ronald Reagan
and Senator George Murphy.
Forming the
sum of their qualifications for office,
we ask them where they are bound, to which they reply,
"We're Off to See the Wizard."
(Band forms circle)
Turning to the international politcal scene, we note Secretary of State
Dean Rusk's recent statement that there are a billion Chinese armed
with nuclear weapons are ready to swoop down on an unsuspecting world.
Forming a
yellow peril
on the field, we ask Mr. Rusk what the worst possible effect of a
Chinese conquest would be, to which he replies..."Yellow Bird."
(Band forms blob)
We turn to
Time
magazine's recent statement that the Republicans could surely win
in 1968 if they didn't have to nominate a candidate, and note that this
stipulation has never hindered Republicans in the past.
The Band forms an
unnatural union,
and asks which of the following is most closely resembles:
- a)
- Nixon-Stassen,
- b)
- Bill Miller-Rockefeller,
- c)
- Gavin-Goheen,
- d)
- Westmoreland-Goldwater.
(Band forms a combined male-female symbol)
We salute one of the brightest lights in the Democratic party, the
junior senator from N.Y.
We note that, although RFK is rarely on the losing side, he also
seems to know when not to take a stand.
Forming his
political philosophy,
we ask Mr. Kennedy how he manages to avoid commenting on such
controversial issues as birth control, to which he replies...
(Band forms 72)
Finally we wish to pay tribute to one of the real dark horses in next
year's Presidential campaign, a man whose valuable though nearly
anonymous ??? for government makes him a powerful force with
which to contend, Hubert Humphrey.
Forming a
long shot
we ask him for an evaluation of his own political future, to which he
replies, "Second Hand Rose."
(Band forms a blob)
COLUMBIA
October 7, 1967
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Marching Band takes a look at contemporary New York City.
Once upon a time there was a scientist with a new, improved cigarette filter, whose secret ingredients to anyone at any price -- so he gave it to Columbia University. Supposedly to raise money for cancer research, Columbia is now contemplating the sale of cigarettes using this new filter. Forming another nail in your coffin on the field, we wonder whether Columbia is considering only the best interests of society in contemplating such actions.
(Band forms a thumbtack)
We turn our attention to New York's latest plunge into the field of
experimental education, the city teacher's strike.
Although the teachers repeatedly and publicly affirmed that they were
striking with only the most noble of intentions, much confusion as to
the actual cause of the strike remains.
The Band forms a better condition for the students on the field and
suggests the real root of the problem.
(Band forms '$')
New York has been troubled with another labor problem perhaps even more
serious that that posed by the teachers, the strike by the Rockettes of
Radio City.
Despite the obvious justice of their demands, the Rockettes seem to have
little hope of success, and may soon have to seek employment elsewhere.
Forming a string on the field,
we remind them that for those who are willing
to stop at nothing, there are plenty of jobs available.
(Band forms 'G')
Finally we wish to pay tribute to a local organization whose work against
prejudice and narrow-minded bigotry has been outstanding -- the
nationally renowned Homophile Society.
Despite bitter opposition and seemingly impenetrable barriers, this
organization has never faltered (drooped) in its fight for acceptance.
Forming a stout heart on the field, the Band salutes them in their
continuing struggle to prove that it's not what you
are, but who who you are that matters.
COLGATE
1967
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a long, hard look at Princeton University.
In recent years many Princeton institutions have come under bitter criticism, but perhaps none has been more maligned that The Daily Princetonian. Despite its past reputation for sensationalism and muck-raking, the Prince this year has taken positive steps to improve its campus image. Forming a yellow rag, we salute the Prince for adding "Mary Worth" to its editorial page.
(Band forms blob)
The Band turns its attention to the architectural marvels of
Princeton University, and forms the most magnificent example
of all, the Jadwin Cage.
We note that construction on the cage was delayed by the
discovery that the roof as originally designed was a perfect
air foil, a detail which could have had important consequences
in the first strong wind.
(Band forms box with no top)
The Band recalls the most spectacular incident in recent Princeton
history, last year's Patton Hall Fire, and feels that the actors,
and actresses, in that memorable event deserve special tribute.
Forming a
forced withdrawal, the Band wonders if perhaps
this incident does not shed some light on possibly unforeseen
consequences of co-education at Princeton.
Finally the Band wishes to pay tribute to its founder and
longtime friend, the late Arthur H. ("Rag") Osborn, class of 1907.
Forming a
moment of seriousness, the Band, under the direction
of Rag Bowers, plays the late Mr. Osborn's own
"Princeton Sons."
(Band in concert formation)
(Jokes 2 & 4 were cut due to time)
CORNELL
1967
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band salutes Cornell University.
Last spring a startling magazine expose revealed that a number of universities had been secretly receiving money from the CIA for certain questionable purposes. The band salutes the Cornell School of Industrial and Labor Relations for its part in this ingenious financial program. Forming a muckrake, we salute Cornell for proving that...
(Band forms a rake)
Recently a faculty-student committee at Cornell recommended that the
University stop protecting student law-breakers from the
authorities.
This new policy may lead to the placing of a large number of bogus
students throughout the student body by police.
Forming a
bird,
the Band warns Cornell students that
(Band forms bird)
Cornell has long been proud of its remarkable geographic setting,
with the spectacular gorges and beautiful mountain landscapes.
This aspect of the university has given rise to the curious
tradition that senior co-eds are identifiable as the ones with
calves overdeveloped from walking.
Forming
some of Cornell's hills
on the field, the Band notes the typical male reaction to this tradition.
(Band forms hills)
Finally, we wish to salute Cornell's laudable efforts to foster its
image as an Ivy League school, a policy rigorously carried out
through such measures as the sign on campus saying "This is an
Ivy League School."
Forming
a pair of button-down overalls
on the field, we ask the question....
(Band forms button-down overalls)
HAHVAHD
November 11, 1967
Ladies and gentlemen, the Band that none dare televise, the Princeton University Marching Band.
The Princeton Band has repeatedly suffered the indignity of not having its halftime shows televised. In a blatant attempt to get television exposure from ABC, the Band forms a plug on the field.
(Band forms 'ABC' which changes to 'NBC')
The Band wishes to pay tribute to the greatest intellectual center in
Boston, an institution where many Princeton students wish they
had come.
In a gesture of friendship, the Band salutes -- Wellesley College.
(Band forms 'H' which changes to 'W')
Last spring McCall's magazine called Radcliffe the "most
promiscuous girls' school."
Forming a
well-reared girl, the Band asks the opinion of someone
who should know, Johnnie Hahvahd returning from a date with a
Cliffie, and he replies...
(Band forms female sex symbol which changes to a circle)
One of the special features of Harvard is its house system, which
many feel provides the perfect place to relax after a long,
hard day.
Forming
one of Harvard's houses, the Band
reminisces with a grad as he recalls his most pleasurable moments
at Harvard.
YALE
(Not Performed Due to Rain)
November 18, 1967
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton Band takes a long, hard look at the Princeton Band.
The first Princeton Band was a small, but spirited group.
Football came first to the Ivy League and the football band came first to Princeton. That first Tiger Marching Band developed that precision-style halftime show which has continued to dominate at some schools. (Quick-step parody)
But changing times require leadership, and thus the Princeton Band was the first to develop the satirical type shows which certain bands attempt to imitate. We recall that moment ten years ago when the Band saluted the great character of the Greek drama, Oedipus. Forming an eternal triangle, we hear Oedipus complain...
In more recent times the Band has examined everything from local campus
issues to literature, such as
Fanny Hill, a classic piece of art.
Forming a
hill we are reminded of the encouraging philosophy contained
in the body of that work, for whenever the heroine was down she was
always looking up.
Finally we note the Princeton Band's most recent contribution to
halftime shows, the rule that all shows must be previewed before
they are presented.
In the spirit of that rule, we salute our visiting school and their
handling of the problem of coeducation.
Forming a Y
that could find no tail, we note however, that even with the
union with Vassar, the Yalie will probably still complain
(Band forms 'V')