Media

Our announcer for the year was Melanie Papasian '03

9/21/2002 -- Lehigh

September 21, 2002

We were not allowed to perform an original pre-game show at Lehigh, because the folks in the Lehigh Athletics department decided they didn't trust us. They didn't think we would be funny. That superfluous squad of bureaucrats decided to flex the one small amount of power they actually had, in order to deprive us - and the entire crowd at the game - of mirth and merriment. We can only hope that someday they'll look back on their insignificant lives and realize what a terrible mistake they've made.

9/28/2002 -- Lafayette

Ladies and Gentlemen, launching onto the field like the last Soyuz space capsule, it's the Princeton University Band!

"Princeton Cannon Song"

The Russian space agency is low on cash, so they've been renting out room on their space flights. Unfortunately, N*SYNC member Lance Bass couldn't come up with the dough to be the next civilian in space. So here are some things the Russians might put in the cargo container that will go in his place:

Forming a little L for the Lafayette band, the Band says, we'll see you at halftime. Ladies and Gentlemen, please rise for the playing of the national anthem... of France.

(Band Forms Little L and plays "La Marseilles")

And now, graduating with a certificate in
Finance
American Studies
African American Studies
Jewish Studies
Political Theory
Political Economy
Environmental Studies
Teacher Preparation
Biophysics
Applications in Computing
Creative Writing
Visual Arts
Theater and Dance
Neuroscience
Music Performance
It's the Double, Double, Rotating P!

(Band Forms Double, Double Rotating P and plays "Going Back")

"Star Spangled Banner"

10/5/2002 -- Columbia

(Note that this show was not performed due to Columbia Athletics' failure to give us pregame time)

And now, exercising out 1st and 17th amendment rights, it's the Princeton University Band!

"Cannon"

We've heard that after some delay, New York's brand new Sex Museum opens today. Here's why we think this climactic event was delayed:

Forming a little "c" for arrived, the Band says, "We hope we aren't late."

(Band forms little "c" and plays "Roar, Lion, Roar")

And now, visiting other New York landmarks such as:

It's the Double, Double, Rotating P!

(Band forms Double Double Rotating P and plays "Going Back")

Run away band, it's the lawyers!

10/12/2002 -- Colgate

How you doin'? It's the Princeton University Band!

"Cannon"

We've had classes for quite a while now, so we've had plenty of time to watch the sludge that passes for television these days. Leading the charge is FOX, and here are some of their specials that haven't yet made it on the air.

Revealing our greatest nuclear secrets, the band forms a little "c" for Chernobyl.

(Band forms little "c" and plays "Fight Fight Fight")

And now, winning the Nobel Prize like:

It's the Double, Double, rotating P!

(Band forms Double, Double, rotating P and plays "Going Back")

"Star Spangled Banner"

10/19/2002 -- Brown

Ladies and Gentlemen, picketing onto the field like the Brown students we're glad we're not, it's the Princeton University Band!

"Cannon"

In these troubled financial times, the Band has been reading the Wall Street Journal to see if our 401K is still worth enough to buy a pair of 501 Jeans. Lately we've noticed a new column in that prestigious paper, and here's this week's article, "Martha Stewart's recipe for cooking the books"

Ingredients:

Directions:
Go out and buy two senators or if you're short on cash, five (5) New Jersey congressmen, and mix vigorously in a crooked accounting firm. Put in stock market and let simmer for three months. Blend until smooth. Arrange tastefully on a bed of shredded documents. Serve cold with a subpoena and a side of denial. And don't forget to finish off the meal with some J-A-I-L-O.

Forming a little "B" for Brown, the Band reminds you, there's always room for Jail.

(Band forms little 'b' and plays "Brown Cheering Song")

And now, it's the:
Pi and only
Army of Pi
Pi Singular Sensation
Pi is the loneliest number
Pi way street
This Pi time, at band camp
Bet you can't each just Pi
Pi flew over the cuckoo's nest
Another Pi bites the dust
You're my Pi and only
Win Pi for the Gipper
Pi fine day
Pi true love
Pi life to live
Pi if by land, 2 if by sea
Double, Double, Rotating P!

(Band forms Double Double Rotating P and plays "Going Back")

"Star Spangled Banner"

10/26/2002 -- Hahvahd

Marching onto the field like a duck in a noose, it's the Princeton University Band!

"Cannon"

Princeton's Daniel Kahneman recently won a Nobel Prize, and we couldn't help but notice that no one at Hahvahd did. Here are some prizes they might have a better shot at:

Forming this week's letter, a little h, the Band asks, How do we get to Sesame Street?

(Band forms little 'h' and plays "Hahvahdiana")

And now, playing the...

It's the Double Double Rotating P!

(Band forms Double Double Rotating P and plays "Going Back")

"Star Spangled Banner"

11/2/2002 -- Cornell

Buzzing onto the field like a tickle me elmo, it's the Princeton University Band!

"Cannon"

We've heard that the University Health Center is considering dispensing personal satisfaction devices. We know what Cornell students will really do with these devices.

Forming a vibrating C for Cancun, where we'd truly like to be, the band says, I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Weener.

(Band forms little C and plays "Cayuga's Waters")

And now, not playing such Cornell songs as:

It's the Double, Double Rotating P!

(Band Forms Double Double Rotating P and plays "Going Back")

Yo Band, Get off!

11/9/2002 -- Penn

Reeeeecola! It's the Princeton University Band!

"Cannon'

The recent elections across the country contained many strange and unusual things on the ballot. And the propositions were weird too. Here are some propositions you probably didn't catch on the ballot.
(a) Dead people will get 2 votes instead of only 1
(b) Resolved: The terrorists have already won
(c) Legalize the use of Crack Cocaine for medicinal purposes
(d) Allow tag team Senate campaigning in New Jersey
(e) Toughen the penalty for political ethics violations by mandating a slap on the wrist
(f) The Penn Band

Forming a small P for propositions, the Band says, nice pants, wanna come back to our place?

(Band forms small 'p' and plays "Fight on Pennsylvania")

And now, after eating such cereals as:

It's the Double Double Rotating P!

(Band forms Double Double Rotating P and plays "Going Back")

Ladies and Gentlemen, please rise for the playing of our national anthem.

"Star Spangled Banner"

11/16/2002 -- Yale

In the beginning, God created Pat, and the Princeton University Band!

"Cannon"

With all of the corrupt politics in his home state of Wisconsin, band president, Pat Miller, decided to go home and run for office. He ran on a platform of rhetoric and old fashioned Old Fashioneds, and he won.

After the band played at his inauguration, we realized that his inauguration address was entirely plagiarized from Richard III. As his first order of business, Pat changed the official language of Wisconsin to Russian, and then he promptly changed it back. The vodka stayed. Pat's approval rating fluctuates with the state of his beard, and strangely, all the lobbyists are named Mel. Now, Pat has established a state theater that will lead to political turmoil for 100 years.

Forming a little Y... why? Because we like Pat. The band says, Pat, you changed the Wisconsin state animal to a trombone. Why not a cigar?

"Whiffenpoof Song" (Band forms little Y)

And now, for our president
Pataphone
Patatonin
Patancholy
Patodius
Gargapat
Apatoriate
Carapat
Patissa
Patanie
Patodrama
Spatly
Waterpaten
Patanoma
Pel-pat
It's the double, quadruple, rotating 4-leaf clover of cheese!

"Going Back" (Band forms double quadruple rotating 4-leaf clover of cheese)

Paging Mr. Miller, your band is illegally parked with its lights on in the Lale Bowl.

11/23/2002 -- Dartmouth

As far back as I can remember, I've always wanted to be in the Princeton University Band!

"Cannon"

With UN arms inspectors back in Iraq, Saddam's been busy rolling up his sleeves and shoving everything he owns into the back closet. Here's what he's been hiding:

Forming a little D for destruction, the band reminds you that when Saddam comes out of the closet, he'll leave behind a few skeletons.

"As the Backs Go Tearing By" (Band forms a little D)

And now, reminding you:

It's the Double, Double Rotating P!

(Band forms Double Double Rotating P and plays "Going Back")

"Star Spangled Banner"